Diggory Dead
by A Crazy Elephant
Summary: Cedric may be dead, but he's not gone.
1. Merry Little Christmas

**Title:** Diggory Dead

**Author:** A Crazy Elephant

**Summary:** Cedric maybe dead, but he's not gone.

**Category:** Humor/Action/Adventure

**Spoilers**: OotP, HBP, and DH, eventually. Watch out.

**Disclaimer:** Alas, it is not mine. sniffle

**Author's Notes:** This particular story is a slight crossover with the old TV show 'Dead Like Me'. You don't need to have seen the show to understand what's going on, but if I'm not clear on something, feel free to ask me to explain. Constructive criticism is always encouraged and welcome! This is what Showtime has done to me. I can't read or watch anything where anyone dies without thinking, "Where are the Reapers?"

**Prologue; No Pearly Gates Nor Firey Pits**

The graveyard was quiet, cold and dark, as it had been when Cedric had first arrived. It had been eerie then, but now, with the cracked and broken headstones littered around the plots and the thought that not an hour ago the Dark Lord had returned and held the first meeting of the Death Eaters in thirteen years, the place seemed even more unnerving.

It didn't help that he was dead.

It hadn't hurt, dying. All things considered, _Avada Kedavra_ was really a decent way to go. Simple, painless, like someone had switched off the light. It was like fainting, only when he'd woken up, his soul was no longer attached to his body.

Cedric shook his head. That was enough brooding. It was over. Sighing, he glanced up at the sky as if the heavens could explain what was to become of him. The clouds that had shadowed the hollow during the rise of the He Who Must Not Be Named were beginning to fade away. A cool breeze picked up to dust off the thick gloom and a bright moon peeped around the shifting clouds as they moved past on their way into oblivion. Now and then, stars popped up between the diminishing patches of haze. It was heartening. Perhaps he was to gradually fade away, as the clouds were. That wouldn't be so bad, he decided.

"You Diggory?" A cold voice broke his reverie. Two dark shapes moved through the moonlight to where Cedric sat on a short headstone. As they drew nearer, he could see their faces. A man and a woman. Both were dressed in Muggle clothing and neither seemed too happy to be prowling around a cemetery in the middle of the night. The man was tall, with the build of someone who at one time in his youth had been in top physical shape but as age caught up, muscle had gone soft and a slight paunch was visible around his middle. He wore a beige trench coat with dress pants and polished black shoes. A black jockey's cap sat atop the gray hair that fell to his shoulders and his blue eyes scanned Cedric critically. The woman, a girl rather, his age, perhaps a tad older, likewise was small, short and wispy with pale skin and dark, cheerful features. Dressed in a bright yellow and perfectly unnecessary rain slicker and equally bright red rubber boots, she didn't seem too concerned with his presence or her counterpart's opinion of him. She was simply and quite clearly unhappy about tromping about a cold graveyard during hours best reserved for warm beds. _And they could see him._

"What?"

"Are you C. Diggory or not, boy?" The older man shot.

"Why do you have to be so mean, Leo? He just died," the girl scolded, tugging at her rain hat. 'Leo' ignored her.

"Well? Answer, lad, we haven't got all night."

"Uh- yes."

"Yessir," Leo corrected. "Anna." He turned to the girl. "Make the introductions."

"Sure thing, Lee." She gave him the thumbs up. "I'm Anna and this is Leo," she explained. "And you, Mr. Diggory, are dead."

"Anna, I asked you to make introductions, not state the obvious," Leo said harshly. "Explain his new purpose. It's your punishment for our tardiness."

"It's not my fault Reg's truck is crap." Anna made a face. "Bloody thing broke down on the drive up here." She shook her head.

"What new purpose?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Diggory, but you won't be going to Heaven," Anna said casually. "But don't worry, we're not sending you to Hell either," she said, with a bit more enthusiasm. "You're coming with us," Leo snorted. He was clearly not impressed with Anna's cheerfulness.

"You're going to be a reaper, boy."

- - -

**Chapter One; Merry Little Christmas**

"Wake up, Diggory! Wake up or I'll hex your ears off!" The pounding on his front door ceased after this ultimatum. From under his quilt, Cedric could hear the click of the lock and Anna blasted through his front door. "Up! Up! Up!" And then the quilt was gone, leaving him at the mercy of the cold December morning and a very cross Anna. He winced and growled.

"Goddamnit, Ann, it's three AM," Cedric grumbled groggily, rolling over to glance at the small glowing alarm clock on his nightstand.

"I am well aware of the time, Diggory," Anna continued with an imperiousness he would have expected from Leo or Reg. "Get up, get dressed, we've got to pop down to the Ministry." For three o'clock in the morning, Anna was surprisingly well groomed and awake. Her dark curls were carefully pinned back with a sprig of holly, a pair of wooly green earmuffs and what he assumed was half a can of Madame Medusa's Miraculous Hair Stay Hair Spray. The long bright red wool coat she'd been wearing since the first of the month was looking just as cheerful and wrinkle free as it had when she'd showed up at the Leaky Cauldron three weeks ago, its fuzzy white trim, still bright as freshly fallen snow. The hem of a smart green skirt stuck out around her knees where it was met by white stockings and a pair of men's work boots she'd clearly lifted from Reg's flat to keep the shiny black Mary Jane's he was certain she had stashed in the compact car she'd borrowed from Matilda in immaculate condition.

Cedric, on the other hand, looked no better than the day he died. His pajamas consisted of a pair of old, gray sweat pants. With the onset of winter, he'd added the hideous pink snitch patterned sweater Matilda had knitted him. His hair was unkempt, he wasn't sure of the last time he'd braved the ice cold water of Reg's shower, what with his own flat lacking running water entirely after his failure to pay the bill, and Gods only knew when he'd last gotten around to laundry.

Death had not been kind to Cedric Diggory.

While actually dying had been painless, dealing with the reapers had not.

There were four other reapers in the Magical Division of External Causes beside himself- Anna and Leo, short, which he'd discovered, for Leonardo, plus Reg and Matilda. All of them had died at least fifteen years before him and in that time had apparently lost all sympathy for the recently deceased. They had a tendency to be callous and snarky and he'd learned very early on not to expect much more sympathy than what little Anna had shown him on the night of his death.

That tiny bit of kindness, he'd concluded, had been quite a stretch for Anna. On the every-day, she tended to be rather critical, sarcastic and annoyingly observant when it came to details, all the while still coming off surprisingly bright and sunny. Unless truly angry, an experience he had yet and hoped never to have, Anna was almost childlike. A sadistic child, to be sure, but she was a first rate pouter with an impressive talent for announcing her observations despite how inappropriate they may be and clearly had the other three wrapped around her little finger.

Reg, Cedric had found was short Regulus and was to Cedric's horror, the deceased younger brother of the notorious mass-murderer, Sirius Black. He'd never been able to work out how exactly Reg had died but the man was everything he expected out of the younger brother of a Dark Wizard. It wouldn't have surprised Cedric in the least of he'd been a Death Eater himself just like his dear big brother. Sulky and brooding, Reg kept mostly to himself and almost always wore that same sneer of disdain that he'd seen before on that fourth-year Slytherin, Malfoy, back at school.

If Anna and Reg were heartless, they were nothing in comparison to their leader, Leo. According to the vague explanation Anna had given him during his crash course in reaper relations after his death, Leo was the oldest of them- how old exactly she hadn't said- and was not one to be trifled with. He took his job as Reaper Foreman very seriously and expected his employees to do exactly the same. He did his best to run a highly efficient division with an iron fist and was by far the most callous, uncaring and bitter person Cedric had ever come across. If he hadn't heard Anna tease him for having ridiculously high moral standards, Cedric would have pinned the old man a Death Eater right along with Reg.

Thank God for Matilda. The elderly little lady was the only sane one of the bunch. Reasonably kind and even helpful when the mood struck her, the round old woman could more than hold her own with her peers. Leo may have had the title, but Matilda was running the show. She could talk Anna out of pout, silence Leo with a look and had been the one to keep Reg from hurting him after a particularly fierce debate over Quidditch teams.

And then there was himself, Cedric. A year ago, he had been alive, safely tucked away in his dormitory back at Hogwarts, brooding over the Tri-Wizard clue and happily awaiting the Yule Ball. He couldn't have possibly imagined then that now he'd be newly deceased, working a low paying, dead end (no pun intended) job for the owl emporium in Diagon Alley and staying in a studio closet in the dodgiest end of London imaginable. No water, no electricity, no heat and a dying cactus plant comprised his worldly possessions. How the mighty had fallen.

Together, the five of them made up the Magical Division of External Causes of the United Kingdom. Reapers, as Cedric learned, were divided into divisions; Muggle and Magical, Natural and External Causes. There were also, he found, specialty groups such as the Plague, Famine, Drought and Genocide Divisions, but for the most part, Anna had said, their little crew didn't have much contact with those sorts.

Reapers had three main tasks; remove the souls of the living before they died, see the soul pass over, blend in with society. Dealing with the souls was none too terrible, Cedric had decided. Removal was easy- a just tap on the shoulder or pat on the back would do the trick- and leading them to their lights was never to much trouble either. It didn't even bother him too much to watch them die. It wasn't as if he was murdering them; they were going to die anyway. If their name was on the parchment slip Leo handed out in the mornings at the Leaky Cauldron, with only one or two exceptions, they were going to die, with or without Cedric's help, and he may as well help them out on their trip into the light less their souls remain trapped forever in whatever was left of their bodies.

It was blending in Cedric was having trouble with. He'd spent the first six weeks after his death camping out on Leo and Matilda's sofa until he'd finally been able to scare up his worthless, paper pushing job at the owl emporium and afford his own dirty little flat. He'd been given clothing by Matilda, whose fashion sense was a bit off, resulting in a small wardrobe of oddly patterned sweater vests and bizarrely colored shirts. He'd been given a ridiculous name: Billy Pilgrim. It had been Anna's turn to choose their alias names and the entire division now was listed at the Ministry under her favorite fictional characters from Muggle literature; Cedric's from a Muggle American author called Vonnegut. He'd been set up with a back-story in case someone asked. Unfortunately, he never could remember said story and would catch himself talking about people who'd never heard of 'Billy' in their entire lives.

His worst trouble was the haunting. A year ago, he couldn't wait to move into his own place, away from his parents. Now, he would have giving anything to be in that home again. On days he went out for a reap on his own; he'd always pop in to see how his mum and dad were coping, which was never well. It was rough; seeing that gaping hole he'd left in their lives and watching as things fell slowly into ruin. Reg had caught him once and only after serious pleading with the man had Cedric been able to keep him from ratting his day trips out to Leo.

"Who's dying?" Cedric asked, tugging on a pair of pink and orange striped socks while Anna daintily selected clothing from the floor, changing the color of his cleanest shirt with her wand to match the cleanest sweater vest. She hated Matilda's choices in clothes; nothing matched. She was terribly obsessive about colors Cedric had come to discover. Things had to match. Always. Similar standards applied to sizes, shapes, letters and numbers for Anna and her compulsive organizing could be quite amusing. Merlin help them all when she got her hands on a pack of Every Flavor Beans when no two beans were ever the same color or flavor.

"A. Weasley," she said, carefully handing him the outfit she'd chosen, piece by piece. "Hurry up, it's bloody freezing in here,"

"Yours or mine?" Cedric dressed as he was bid, tugging his khakis over his sweats in a last ditch effort to fight off the cold.

"Yours. You really do need a telephone; you know how Leo hates owls and the mess they make." Anna pulled a parchment slip from an inside coat pocket and held it out. Cedric, straightening his sweater vest which Anna had recently dyed a festive bright green and red, accepted the note and studied it.

"I know this bloke. Well, his kids at any rate. Or his brothers. Can never keep them straight," he mused, folding the paper and tucked it in his pocket while Anna summoned his boots and the second hand wool coat Reg had given him at Matilda's request.

"Well since the two of you are such great pals, perhaps you could do him the honor of a painless demise." Anna crossed her arms and tapped a foot impatiently.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Cedric rolled his eyes as he laced up his boot and grabbed his coat. "Let's go."

- - -

"I hate premonitions," Anna announced as they climbed back into Matilda's car to head back to The Leaky Cauldron. "I hate them. Force us to make trips for nothing."

"Yeah," Cedric agreed, dropping into the passenger seat. "I'm beginning to see what you mean." The reap had been a total bust. A complete waste of three hours which he could have spent sleeping. A. Weasley hadn't died; someone had foreseen it and all his little pals had swooped in to stop the whole mess before Cedric had even had a chance to pop his soul. Lucky bastard.

"Neh, ah well. Leaves us more time for Christmas shopping." Anna shrugged and slammed her door, turning the key to start the car.

"What?" Anna, Christmas shopping only two days before Christmas? He would have expected her to have had everything bought and wrapped in June.

"Shopping, Diggory, for Christmas gifts. I've not been able to find anything for Leo. Silly old goat; he's horribly difficult to buy for. I'm inches away from knitting him another set of socks, just for old time's sake." He would never understand the mad little creature that was Anna. Just barely six o'clock in the morning, after a very cross three hours of dressing her protégé, hassling him into the car, nudging him into the service entrance of the Ministry of Magic, then laying in wait outside the poor Mr. Weasley's office until his buddies had busted in to gum up the whole operation, Anna had all ready switched back into her Holiday Happy Mode. "It took me years to pass my Apparition test, so I was broke for ages; all I could afford to do at Christmas was knit. Leo always got the socks," she explained brightly. Anna, despite her obsessive organizing, Reg had explained once, was something of a mathematical genius. She could work more Arithmancy problems in three minutes than Cedric was able to do in an hour and could count hundreds of items with only a glance. This opened up a whole world of potential income; Anna counted cards. And, when the mood struck her, would indulge her fondness for statistics with a rousing few hands of the Muggle card game, poker. Every now and then she'd pop down to the Muggle casinos on the Mediterranean coast for the evening and pull in thousands of pounds in just a few hours and be back in London before lunch to exchange out her pounds for galleons. "What did you get the old man?" Anna interrupted his thoughts.

"Oh, uh, nothing," Cedric admitted truthfully.

"Brilliant; then you won't be bored to tears while I drag you about the antique shelves Flourish and Blotts. I'm hoping to find something for that little library of his," Anna continued cheerily.

"Anna, I can't afford to _sneeze_ in Flourish and Blotts, let alone _buy_ something for Leo."

"You can't afford to sneeze anywhere, Diggory, last I checked. You really ought to see if Reg can get a good word in for you at the Department of Mysteries; he says they've been looking for a few good maladjusted young men with nothing to lose. That sounds like you." Anna was trying to sound encouraging.

"Thanks a lot," Cedric grumbled, slouching low in his seat.

"Well, think about it; you're all ready dead. Your only associates are all ready dead. The only secret you've got worth knowing isn't too hard to keep if you're ever captured and questioned since no one would ever ask something like, 'and how long have you been dead for Mr. Diggory?' It's perfect!" Anna said. "I'm sure Reg wouldn't mind,"

"Reg hates me, Anna," Cedric reminded her absently.

"He does not." She waved him off. "He's snarls at everyone, don't worry. Just wait for tomorrow though; he and Leo have found the perfect tree."

"What tree?"

"For the party of course!" Anna shook her head. "Our Christmas party! I sent invitations out two weeks ago! Don't tell me you didn't get one." Oops. Cedric had stopped checking his mail, both Muggle and Magical. Too many bills he couldn't pay had started to depress him.

"No, I got one," He assured her. Lie. Well, half-lie. There may have been an invitation in one of the bundles of bills and junk mail piled on the cardboard box currently serving as his dining room table, but Cedric couldn't have said for sure. "I must have forgotten. Things have been stressful at work. I'm trying to keep my apartment you know. A job is kind of important." Another lie. The most stressful part of his job was keeping the mad little witch who held a similar job at the House of Cats from cornering him at lunch to confess her undying love to him. Anna didn't seem to believe this one anyway.

"You're a bloody temp! You push paper, Diggory! How is that stressful? Staple prices on the rise?" She snorted a wicked little laugh. "I'll ask Reggie to look into picking up an application for you," she continued decisively. "Anyway, the Christmas party will be excellent. Tilly's making her hot chocolate and I've found a brilliant recipe for the most darling little gingerbread houses . . ."

- - -

Christmas Eve dawned cold and wet. Dark, angry looking clouds hung over London. The falling snow was more ice than powder. The wind was biting and bitter. The roads were miserable. Cedric's flat seemed even colder and emptier than normal. Drafts crept in from every crevice and the windows and waterless pipes were frozen solid. Cedric was freezing.

Alone in the emptiness, dressed in every article of clothing he owned with his sad little cactus Matilda had given him as a housewarming gift covered in tinsel and frozen gumdrops in honor of the holiday, he'd finally given in and decided to burn his cardboard dining room table. He had a fair little blaze going by lunch and was rather enjoying adding old bills and junk mail to the flames when Reg blasted in the front door.

"What the hell Black?! Even Anna at least knocks first." Cedric cried in surprise, dropping a particularly large envelope of worthless coupons to shops like Waldo's Wondrous World of Wands; Accessories and Care and Dragon Designs: Home Décor for the Wizard in the Go.

"_Anna_ has her flat color coded and alphabetized." Regulus reminded him coldly. "She has _my_ flat color coded and alphabetized. And she'll have both our heads if we're late to her Christmas party," he said imperiously, tapping a frozen gumdrop stuck on one of the cactus' prickles. Even the holiday hadn't wiped the sneer off his face. The more time Cedric spent with the man, the ever more he was convinced that dear Reggie had followed in his big brother's footsteps. Everything about him seemed to scream dark wizard; from his smug little sneer down to the dark silk dress shirts that always conveniently covered his arms. Today was no different. His dark hair had been clipped impeccably neat, no doubt by Anna in her endless quest for perfection. His clothing too looked as though the outfit had been chosen with heavy influence from Anna; his dark wool coat had a sprig of holly tucked into the lapel. His scarf and mittens were of the striped red, white and green sets that Matilda had knitted for each member of their little Death Squad at the start of the holiday season and, Cedric had little doubt, matched a silk shirt below the coat. Pompous ass.

"Tell her I'll drop by later." Cedric grumbled, returning his attention to his fire. "It's- goddamn it! This is the last of my fuel!" A silent spell from Regulus' wand quickly doused the small fire, sending smoke up to the now howling detectors and Cedric swearing.

"Shut up, Diggory. We're staying at Leo and Tilly's anyway. I do hope you're color-coordinated appropriately; Anna will all ready be anxious over Tilly's choice of interior design." Regulus continued callously. "I certainly don't want to spend all evening listening to her whine. See to your smoke detectors and get your arse down to my truck. Now."

- - -

"Oh! Just look at you boys! Get in here before you freeze your arses off! And if either of you track that dreadful street slush onto my good carpets, I'll let Leo run this bloody department the way he wants!" Matilda's scolding along with a lovely rush of warm air and the smell of ginger bread greeted their entrance into Number 42 Grove's End Road.

"She means it!" Anna warned from the kitchen while Matilda tugged at their coats and mittens. "All ready threatened my gingerbread house for arranging the spices!"

Number 42 was a small cozy little house set in a very Muggle and ordinary suburb of London. The outside was very much like the others on the street, but the inside was a neatly crammed mess of knickknacks and doilies. The tiny forayer opened into a crowded living/dining room that was separated from the kitchen by only a breakfast bar. Two doors along the back led to the bedroom and washroom. The walls were all a dreadful sickly pink color except the washroom and kitchen, which were both tiled in a green that reminded one of chewing gum. Odd collages of classic art, both Muggle and Magical, and 'family' photos of their reaper division ranging from old fashioned portraits of Matilda and Leo sitting with reapers Cedric didn't know to more recent color photos of Reg and Anna looking victorious in green and red at last year's World Cup Match, covered much of the pink. There was even one picture with him in it, hung in the sitting room taken shortly after his death in The Leaky Cauldron. In it, he looked uncomfortable sitting between Anna and Matilda in a booth with Leo and Reg in the booth behind them, still in the clothes he died in.

The furniture of Number 42 had clearly not been up dated since Gridlewald had been defeated and all of it was a painfully ugly. The parlor set was hideous and boxy, but surprisingly comfortable, a sickening green upholstering and wood. The end and coffee tables were a reddish wood that looked as though someone new to woodworking had constructed them in a rush but were awkwardly heavy and sturdy. The kitchen island was a peach vinyl and core board that reminded Cedric of his grandmother's that against the minty green gave the space a watermelonish feel.

In the spirit of the season, the house had been decked out in festive trimmings. All of the blown glass dragons that lined the small shelf around the tiled countertops in the kitchen each had small red and green Father Christmas hats. Silver tinsel had been tied in a bow around each of the cabinets' knobs and a large arrangement of poinsettias occupied the breakfast bar along with Anna's gingerbread house and its materials. Each photo and painting had been trimmed in garland, as had the lampshades and the edge of the mantle piece. The mantle itself had been cleared of it usual cast iron miniatures of wizards famous for long since forgotten achievements (the Chocolate Frog Cards of the last century, Reg had called them) and replaced with a ceramic village inhabited by enchanted ceramic miniatures of elves dressed as Father Chirstmas' helpers that twittered carols on request. The tree Anna had promised sat between the mantle and the record player that scratched out a peaceful carol Cedric did not know, with Leo on the floor below it, swearing at a string of lights.

"About bloody time you boys decided to join us." Leo snarled. "These girls are about to drive me mad and I'm not stringing the damn popcorn this year." He growled, still glaring at the lights. He seemed to have given in to both Matilda and Anna and wore one of Matilda's striped sweaters with a massive Christmas tree on the front over his collared shirt, but had made sure to appease Anna by coordinating his tie and socks accordingly. He looked comical and he looked dangerous.

"Of course you aren't," Matilda snorted as she haphazardly piled their coats on an all ready heavy coat tree. She herself was a bigger festive mess than Leo and Anna (whose very red ensemble matched down to the ribbon on the Scottie dog pin on her collar and the holly in her curls). The squat old woman had gone all out for the occasion, dressed not only in another striped sweater of her own creation (this one, with a reindeer in place of the tree), but a bright green robe with Father Christmas head buttons, a red, full circle skirt with a rather large poinsettia appliquéd on near the hem and a pair of polka dot socks Anna had knitted her. "It's Reggie's turn this year." Reg snarled at this as he stole a handful of red hots from Anna's gingerbread house materials.

"Regulus!" Anna whined with a hard punch to his shoulder as Reg wolfed down the candies. "Tilly! Make him stop! He's eating my- No! Stop!" More whines and a few more slaps with the flat edge of a butter knife had Tilly scolding and Reg grinning wickedly.

"Not before dinner, Regulus!" Tilly gave Reg a swat herself before shooing him towards the tree and a large bowl of popcorn. "And you!" Cedric was tugged into the kitchen by the collar of his sweater vest. "Cedric, you look dreadful! Not at all ready for a party! Here!" A plate was thrust into his hands and a wide assortment of foods from mashed potatoes to shepherds pie was loaded onto it. "You eat, boy! Once you've got your color back and can feel your fingers, get over there and help Leo with the lights, he's bound to short the circuits and cut the power again." Tilly instructed pushing him into the chair next to Anna.

"Why don't we charm them on?" Cedric asked, pushing at a pile of peas with his fork. "Just a quick-"

"That's absolutely no fun Ced!" Anna reproached him. "Besides, this is the sort of thing families do; we're a family."

"Families watch Leo try to set the house on fire?" Cedic asked, with a bite of pie.

"Stow it boy, I've been attending these little tree trimming events longer than you were alive." Leo barked. Reg snorted.

"You've been attending these things since the last Giant Wars, old man."

"Hold you tongue or I'll toss the both of you outside-"

"Leonardo!" Tilly interrupted. "Leave the boys be. Annie's right; we're a family. Families aren't this nasty to one another-"

"Your family wasn't, but mine-" Reg began but Tilly cut him off.

"This family is civil, young man. Now I want to see smiles, damn it! It's bloody Christmas!"


	2. Tidings of Comfort and Joy

**Title:** Diggory Dead

**Author:** A Crazy Elephant

**Summary:** Cedric maybe dead, but he's not gone.

**Category:** Humor/Action/Adventure

**Spoilers**: OotP, HBP, and DH, eventually. Watch out.

**Disclaimer:** Alas, it is not mine. *sniffle*

**Author's Notes:** Whew! It's been a while since I've updated and I know it's not anywhere near Christmas, but I'm afraid I get carried away with chaptered stories and just keep going. So, as has been pointed out to me, there are a few holes in chapter one, questions left unanswered. I'll do my best to try and remedy that in this chapter, even though I've gone and moved this to Crossovers and it probably doesn't matter anymore. Also, I'm taking a few liberties with the Reaping Rules, just to specify them a bit. Still on the hunt for a beta reader for this particular story if anyone's interested. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy!

**Chapter Two; Tidings of Comfort and Joy **

"Leonardo! What _did_ I tell you about threatening our boys on Christmas?"

The tree trimming had not progressed well. While Anna had finished with her gingerbread house and now after cleaning up her mess of materials, sat on the carpet next to Reg carefully unpacking and arranging ornaments for the tree, everything from tin spheres in shiny golds, greens and reds to hand made clay dragons, centaurs and unicorns, on the coffee table and Matilda had dished out dinner and had settled on the couch, propped up her short legs on a squat footstool and sat cutting out paper crowns for a stack of crackers she was assembling, Reg had quickly grown frustrated with his popcorn garland, crushing more pieces than threading. Leo and Cedric had not fared much better.

Leo hadn't wanted help, not that Cedric had much to offer. His family had always charmed candles onto their own tree and the Muggle electric lights weren't nearly as simple to handle. It hadn't been long before Leo was cursing everything from the lights themselves, to Anna for insisting he string them by hand, to the damned bloody fool who'd thought putting lights on a tree was a grand idea in the first place, Matilda was scolding and Anna was giggling wickedly. Reg, jumping at an opportunity to provoke Leo without threat of retribution, had sided with Tilly and Cedric.

"Yes Lee, it's Christmas, man. Don't want to spoil the fun, now do we?" He asked with a grin that looked more like a sneer as he crushed another piece of popcorn.

"Reggie, you stay out of this!" Matilda warned. "It's none of your business!"

"Come, Till, I think it is. It's my Christmas too after all. I don't want to listen to Leo growl anymore than you." Reg continued wickedly. Leo snarled again before his temper got the better of him and he snapped the light cord he'd been trying to string around the top of the tree. The resulting spark and pop from the electricity made Cedric hop up and back away, Anna jump and drop a small glass star that shattered on the heavy coffee table, Reg give a small start of surprise and set Matilda bellowing protests with a ferocity Cedric hadn't seen since his own intense and inebriated Quidditch debate with Reg early last summer.

"Out! All three of you!" Matilda was beside herself. "Leo and I need to have a little chat; out! Now!"

"But Tilly, it's not time to see the choir-" Anna protested weakly, repairing the star with a quick tap from her wand.

"Anna von Hackelber, I don't care about the bloody time. _Out_." Matilda had clearly passed 'incensed' and had moved on to 'livid'. Cedric had never heard Anna's last name used before. Anna seemed rather shocked her own self and wordlessly summoned their coats with another flick of her wand.

"We'll go skating then." Anna responded carefully as she rose, still watching as Leo ripped through another string of lights and Tilly reached for her wand. "Come on." She held out his coat to him and a hand down to Reg. He took her hand without comment and the younger reapers fled Number 42 Grove's End before the sparks began to fly.

- - -

The surrounding suburb of Grove's End had been modeled after a small town, complete with a plaza to act as a village square near the neighborhood's north end. Lined with little shops, two varieties of churches and a park area, it had the feel of a quaint town, even if a slightly constructed one.

"You know Leo's only angry because Tilly's gone and Secret Kept the liquor cabinet this year and made sure to filch all his pocket money so he can't get his hands on more." Away from Matilda's fury, Anna was giggling again and even darling Regulus had decided to crack a smile.

"He'd drink himself into a stupor without Peter here to knock back his share." Reg agreed as they made their way down the row of shops toward the small rink that had been set up in the park.

"Peter, you know the bloke whose place you took when you died and he was promoted? Well, he's been Leo's drinking buddy since before even _I_ joined this division." Anna explained brightly. "It's no wonder Leo's in such a state. They would always get pissed at Christmas and get into all sorts of mischief. Like Reggie's first Christmas, they got their hands on some Filibuster's Fireworks; blew up the garden shed and the hothouse before the neighbors called the Muggle authorities. I had to tell all sorts of lies and Tilly had to repair the back garden the next morning." She continued. "And _my_ first Christmas here, they both sat on the lawn watching the German air force bomb the bloody hell out of London while Leo got started singing the drinking songs he learned in the last war and Peter ranted in German about what pansies the Allies were for not stopping Grindelwald and his Muggle puppets earlier. I'd never heard such profanity before- oh! Look! There we are!" Anna pointed into the window of a small electronics store that sat on the square opposite the park. Inside, the moving picture boxes Reg shrugged off as 'display tello-visions' had been rigged to broadcast the movements of passersby. On the screens, last minute shoppers and festive looking residents pushed passed the space where Cedric and the older reapers should have stood, but their own faces were absent. In their place, three strangers of approximately the same size, wearing their clothes stood staring back.

"Remember last spring I told you we looked different to the living? Well, that's what we look like." Anna tapped on the glass, her wooly green mittens muffling the sound. "Trixie- she was Reggie's predecessor- well, she used to say it's what our inner child looks like when it grows up. I've always hoped she was wrong, because my inner child looks like one of those unfortunate people who never quite grew into her ears and her nose." She sighed at their Tello-Selves. Indeed, the girl in Anna's fuzzy earmuffs and thick red coat, while she had the same dark hair and eyes, was endowed with a rather pronounced pair of freckled ears that peeked above her earmuffs and an equally prominent and freckly nose. Reg's Inner Child looked quite a bit like the man himself, still snarling and sulking, save a longer face and slightly crooked nose. His own reflection was the most unsettling; same hair and eye color just as the others, but his eyes were larger and nearer together, his nose and jaw more pronounced, so that he looked far less like his own self and much more like one of the blokes who did the voices in Tilly's favorite radio operas whose photos she would cut out of Witch Weekly to paste in her _All My Mages_ scrapbook.

"Don't look so horrified Diggory, he's just the sort of handsome batty old ladies and lonely little witches fantasize about." Reg snickered.

"Regulus! That's dreadful!" Anna pinched at Reg's shoulder as they moved away from the storefront.

"Thank you Annie." Cedric said with a wry smile, shuffling after them towards the park and the ice rink. "I don't suppose you've a clever insult to sully your one shinning act of charm for the week?"

"No," She admitted, looping her arm with his as he caught up. "It _is_ Christmas Eve after all. I can't very well be dreadful on Christmas Eve, even if it is loads of fun. Right Black?" She asked with a sickly sweet smile for Reg.

"Of course, darling." Reg shook his head. "Not on Christmas. Tilly's standards for this little greeting card family of ours wouldn't allow it."

"That's better. Oh! This looks like a good spot!" She'd led them a bit beyond the rink to a bench just out of sight of the skaters and the square. "Can you boys conjure your own skates or do you need help?" Anna asked seriously, as if they were children and drawing her wand.

"I think we can handle it, Annie." Reg drew his own wand and Cedric followed suit.

"I expect them to match." She reminded them with a tap to the soles of each of her boots.

"Yes Annie." They chanted and she shot another beaming smile as the dark leather of her boots morphed into pristine white figure skates, complete with dark green blade guards.

"I win. Slowcoaches-"

"Just go ahead without us. I'll need to re-lace mine anyway." Reg waved her off as both he and Cedric tapped the soles of their own boots.

"Good."

"Fine." She stuck out her tongue and with a final look of triumph for Reg, Anna skipped back toward the ice. Cedric shook his head and turned to his own laces as she disappeared. Never would have guessed she'd been older than he was when she'd died.

"I went home." The admission startled him.

"What?" He looked up from the knot in his skatelace.

"Don't be dense, Diggory. I went home." Reg had dropped onto the bench and hadn't looked away from the dark laces of his own skates. Cedric shook his head to clear off his surprise. Never in his afterlife had he imagined _Regulus Black_ would willfully admit a personal failure. Tilly maybe, in a desperate moment to connect with her younger counterparts, or Leo, if he were roaring drunk, hell even _Anna_ in explaining context of one of her little stories of the past, but never Reg.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asked, straightening.

"You're the only one with family still living. Besides, it makes us even. I know you haunt, you know I haunt."

"You're not going to lord my haunting over me like Anna would?" Cedric asked, disbelieving. The motive was an even greater shock than the admission itself.

"Anna learned to reap in Grindwald's Europe; her cutthroat reaping tactics have been bleeding over to everyday existence for years." Reg snorted over his laces. "I wasn't and while Black Family Theories of Child Rearing weren't exactly in line Tilly's Greeting Card Philosophies, we wouldn't do that to family. Well, maybe Cousin Bella, but not the rest of us. We're supposed to be family now aren't we?" Cedric nodded and dropped onto the bench next to him.

"What'd you see?" He asked. Reg shook his head.

"Sirius' got his godson and their mates over for the holiday. And a great ruddy hippogriff stashed in the attic; nearly took my hand off when I crawled in from the roof."

"You flew in?"

"Had to; my father had the house charmed to keep out Apperaters years ago. My cousin Andy's kid was there too. Dora's older than you now. Just a kid when I died." He shook his head again. "They looked good. Happy even. I don't remember that."

"Isn't your brother still a- a person of interest of the Ministry?" Cedric asked carefully. Reg stiffened and looked up for the first time since Anna had skipped off to skate.

"Sirius didn't do the things they say he did." Reg snapped hotly. "He didn't. Anna and Peter were there. And I don't want to hear another goddamn word about it, Diggory or I'll pull your spleen out through your throat and tell Tilly about that snotty little witch in Diagon Alley that fancies you." Reg warned. Cedric, rather enjoying the presence of his spleen and very much not wanting to never hear the bloody end about how sweet Tilly thought the House of Cats Witch was, nodded.

"Fair enough." He shrugged. "What about your folks?"

"Dear Mother and Dad? They've been dead for ages. It's just Sirius and the Cousins these days and they almost never speak to each other. Bella and Cissa might still talk. Maybe Andy and Sirius. What about your parents? They stepping around that Cedric-sized hole you left behind?"

"Last I checked." Cedric sighed. "Haven't had the heart to go back this close to the holidays. Can't imagine it's a pretty picture." Holidays were always something of a mess anyway. Lots of Mum fretting over Gran coming over, Dad and the Uncles breaking out the Firewhisky to listen to the Quidditch games on the radio and brag about their children and his younger cousins squealing and getting into his school trunk or his Quidditch bag or Mum's good china. This year, he was betting there was going to be a bit more fretting and a lot more Firewhisky.

"You are the most worthless pair of wizards I've ever seen! Slowcoaches!" Anna called up from the rink. "Hurry it along gents! It'll be time to see the choir before you two even get your arses on the ice at this rate!"

- - -

An hour of humiliating himself on the ice rink much to Anna and Reg's amusement passed before Tilly and Leo appeared in their little economy car and announced it was time to see the choir. Death did not take holidays and five members of the Gordric's Hallow Community Choir were not going to see Christmas morning. Tilly was back to her own Holiday Happy self and Leo was still cross, but forcibly polite. Cedric did not want to think what it had taken to get him that way.

"Proper reap this time, I hope." Anna said brightly, inspecting the small slip of parchment Tilly had passed her, the name, address and Estimated Time of Death clearly visible in Leo's neat handwriting. "Not like yesterday. Bloody premonitions, it's a right good thing they're rare."

"The lucky bastard didn't show up for his appointment; just the way it goes." Tilly waved her off cheerily. "It happens from time to time, you know that, sweet."

"Still's no fun. He nearly made it to 4:47 am; sat in his little office right up to 4:42 before his wretched little pals turned up to cart him off just in the nick of time. Bastard. Wish _I'd_ missed _my_ appointment." Anna shook her head and stuffed the parchment into a pocket.

"Come now Annie, if you'd missed that appointment, I'm sure you'd have kept another shortly after." Leo snorted. "Tell me, how many of your little friends made it through the War?" He asked from the driver's seat as he gunned the car through a changing traffic signal.

"Oh! Two. Bridget went and married some American wizard and had loads of children and Thomas went and hung himself sometime in the mid-sixties out of guilt over war crimes even though the International Federation of Wizardry pardoned almost all of Grindlewald's followers after the war. They were my schoolmates. Think I had a cousin on my mum's side that was living in the States too, but we never talked to that branch of the family anyway." Anna answered readily, the force of Leo's wild turns throwing the three younger reapers from side to side in the back seat. After shoving Anna and Reg by proxy out of his own corner and back towards the center of the car during a particularly straight stretch of highway, Cedric scoffed.

"Can't believe it's that easy to survive; miss the ETD and you're off home free." He shook his head.

"Why? You think you could have missed yours?" Reg sneered, elbowing Anna out of corner and back to Cedric's. Even though they'd reached a tentative understanding, Reg was still his cranky old self.

"Sure; if I hadn't grabbed that cup, I'd be back at home, safe and sound and none the wiser. Couldn't you have missed yours?"

"Of course he wouldn't have!" Leo grunted. "Our boy Reg here was practically a suicide; he came of his own free will."

"Almost. You didn't throw yourself in that lake on purpose now did you Reggie?" Tilly asked from the front seat.

"I knew what I doing; if I hadn't drowned, Cousin Bella would have got to me sooner or later. Just did her a favor that's all." Reg snorted.

"You had the most dreadful family, Reggie. I met your parents and all your aunt and uncles back at Hogwarts when they first transferred me up here. Trixie sent me away to school 'cause I looked the youngest and needed to pass as a student for a reap. Your Uncle Alphie was all right, he was my year, but the others were simply awful. Called me all sorts of horrible names 'cause the whole school knew I was a half blood."

"Who were you reaping at Hogwarts?" Cedric asked.

"She called herself 'Myrtle' or 'Mabel' or something or rather. Don't quite remember. She still hangs around the girl's bathroom. Trixie nearly took my head off when she found out I couldn't get the girl to move on. _Nasty_ temper Trixie. Worse than Leo here." Anna continued. "I do miss her, but Reggie is much nicer to have around. You think Leo's a right old goat; Trixie was horrible. If she found you haunting, she'd make you reap them if their names came up. Violent too! Broke my wrist right there in front of God and everybody in the Three Broomsticks once. _Crucio_ you too, if you weren't in public."

"You deserved some of that, Anna my belle; you weren't much of a doll yourself when Charlie brought you to us." Tilly reminded her. Cedric snorted. He'd met Charlie once; an older reaper out of the European Special Circumstances Division. Old fellow had come round for tea when he'd still been camped out on Leo and Tilly's couch. The ancient reaper had been friendly enough, friendlier than the rest of Ced's own division put together, but with a warped sense of humor and a very odd outlook on the world. If Anna wasn't always a peach these days, he was loath to think what she had been like during the War; Charlie was surely the only one who could have handled her tongue with any semblance of patience.

"There was no call for the wrist breaking!" Anna huffed.

"You slapped her, sweet." Leo observed, speeding through yet another traffic light. "I'd have broken your wrist too, you wee little wretch."

"Oh Leo! You would not!" Anna giggled. "Tilly wouldn't stand for it!"

"I'll not stand for any more striking from either of you!" Tilly huffed. "That goes for you boys as well! We're a family remember?"

"Yes, Tilly."

- - -

Godric's Hollow was even lovelier than Grove's End in the snow. The snow and ice was a pristine white here- not like in London where the Muggle's cars and the city's attempts to clear the streets left everything dark and grimy. Holly, ivy and candles decorated the homes and shops, each looking like large versions of Anna's little gingerbread house back in Tilly's kitchen, not the troublesome strings and plastic reindeer that were hung around Grove's End.

This was the sort of Christmas Cedric was used to. This was the sort of Christmas he missed. He hadn't expected the sharp pang of longing that had come as they'd hiked into town from the small dead-end alleyway where Leo had haphazardly parked the car. Leo and Tilly's home was certainly cozy and inviting, but it wasn't his parents' house and Anna's gingerbread wasn't his gran's Christmas pudding.

"_The holly and the ivy/When they are both full grown/Of all the trees that are in the wood/The holly bears the crown-_"

"Choir sounds lovely," Tilly observed brightly as they followed the small crowd into the public gardens where the holiday concert was being held. A small gazebo had been set up and vendors were out and about selling all manner of wonderful snacks- roasted chestnuts, hot chocolate, warm pumpkin pasties- as well as useless sorts of knickknacks that children begged for but adults ignored- Father Christmas hats, wizard crackers, festive mittens and muffs with cheap warming charms. "Annie love, fetch us a program." Tilly instructed, waving the younger girl on as Reg and Leo stalked off in opposite directions, parchments in hand.

"Yes Tilly,"

"Poor lads have got vendors, but we've got chorus members; we can cheat, Cedric darling. I do hate working on Christmas." She explained, looping her arm in his and watching the choir wistfully. "Best time of the year, this."

"Yes . . ."

"First holiday's always the worst." Tilly patted his arm in understanding. "Just try and enjoy yourself, love. It's all we can do. Got to have reasons to stick around in this world."

"What happens if you don't?" Cedic asked.

"You go away; by your choice or Upper Management's, you go away. Just away. No place good, I reckon. Ask Annie sometime or Charlie next time he drops in; they've seen what happens when reapers can't keep it together. The War, you know."

"What do you mean?" He continued. This was the most he'd heard about the Reaping Rules since his brief introduction last spring.

"It's like with the living, when they give up on this world, they kill themselves. We can't die, but you can still go away- follow someone else into their lights or worse. Annie told me once about a fellow from her War Division that cut a bit of himself off at a time 'til he couldn't do it himself and asked the others to do it for him."

"Cut bit of himself off?" Cedric repeated with a grimace.

"Yes, started with his toes and worked on up." Tilly nodded solemnly. "She watched three others head into the lights after their reaps before they transferred her up here and Charlie's seen at least four times as many. 'Piggybacking's, what they call it. I've heard it sets off such a tremor, reapers for miles can feel it. "

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to feel that, least not from one of our kids. So you make sure you find yourself a good reason to stick around, 'cause if you don't hop off yourself, Upper Management makes you disappear, got it?" Tilly was back to her scolding tone.

"Yes Tilly-"

"Look! Mine's the one on the end there with that wretched hat and Ced- you've got that round fellow down in front." Anna had returned with a program. "Tilly, I think you've got the director." She held out the parchment. "They ought to be taking a break here shortly for cider there." She waved at small refreshment table, set up behind the gazebo.

"Thank you, sweet pea." Tilly patted Anna's shoulder with her free hand as the choir finished their number and broke formation for refreshments as promised.

"See? Come along, Ced. Let's go." Anna tugged at his hand. Tilly released his other arm and waved him along with an apologetic smile as Anna dragged him over towards the cider table. "You all sounded simply marvelous!" She exclaimed without missing a beat to the poor bloke in the particularly ghastly hat as he approached the beverages. "Christmas simply _isn't_ the same with such lovely carols, right dearest?" She continued patting the gent's arm to release his soul, the shining white tremor only the reapers could see rippling out from where her hand connected with his forearm.

"Absolutely. Good show, men." Cedric held out his own hand for the man in the hat and his own reap who stood with his cider nearby to shake. Both took it and just as Anna had, Cedric released that slight shudder that sent the shining ripple that popped the soul into the doomed singer. With thanks, the carolers accepted the congratulations, wished them a happy Christmas before Anna pulled him off to where Tilly had settled near a one of the food vendors.

"Get them?"

"Of course, these sort are eas-" It was a gas line. Pipes that ran from well out in the countryside right under Godric's Hollow that heated Muggles' country cottages and farm houses. Something had been the matter with it; some fault, some flaw in the construction and maintenance had produced quite an impressive explosion that interrupted Anna and sent snow, fire and wizards flying along the pipeline's path, right under the refreshment table.

Tilly's place near the pumpkin pasty merchant was far enough away from the blast that they were only showered in dirt and snow, but others, including Reg and Leo were not so lucky. Anna had dropped between Cedric and Tilly, pulling both down to the ground as the explosion ripped through, but Reg had been knocked into one of the venders' carts by the blast, his clothes singed and one of his eyebrows missing while Leo had been thrown back into the gazebo. And while the souls of now-deceased carol singers and unfortunate merchants materialized neatly next to where the three of them lay face down on the ground, shaking snow and rubble out of their hair, both Reg and Leo crawled out from the smoldering ruins of the promenade looking more than a little worse for wear.

Reg had gotten off easy, relatively speaking. His hair and clothes were singed and he was missing an eyebrow, but his only obvious injury was easily healed- an arm out of socket for sure and possibly broken, but Cedric couldn't say for sure from his position on the ground. As he stumbled out of the shambles of the vendor's cart, Reg shrugged the injury off, the blessedly quick healing abilities that all reapers possessed taking effect, mending the damage before the living took notice.

Leo wasn't so fortunate. He'd landed curiously in the wreckage of the gazebo in such way that had snapped his neck and collarbone and cracked his head open like an Easter egg. The head injury was all ready on the mend by the time Tilly had sprung up with greater agility than Cedric had ever seen from her and scuttled over to where their foreman squirmed awkwardly to realign his spine and shoulders before a living soul could get near enough to investigate.

"Oh! Reggie! Just look at your eyebrow! You're all off balance! Ooh- and you've got red on you! Just there," Anna giggled as Reg slouched over to them, rolling his shoulder as if to verify that it was properly attached. Reg did not look thrilled at this announcement.

"Your curls are ruined." He snarled as Tilly joined them, supporting a particularly irate looking Leo whose shoulders were still out of line while his head lolled unnaturally. Anna squeaked, patting down her hair gingerly with her soiled mittens before one of the poor deceased carol singers got particularly brave.

"What's going-" Cedric didn't let him finish.

"You're dead, mate." He assured the caroler while Tilly sat Leo down to right his shoulders, all utterly oblivious to the hysteria that had broken out around them.

"Hey- you're Amos' boy." The choir director seemed to take notice. The glamour that kept living blissfully ignorant of the reapers true identities did not affect the dead, Cedric had learned. There had been several occasions now where a colleague of his father's or some bloke who'd seen his photo in the _Prophet_ recognized him after they're died. "But you're dead-"

"Yessir, and so are you." Cedric continued, with an apologetic sort of smile. "Nothing we can do about it."

"Then what comes next?" A vendor asked.

"Don't know." Cedric admitted, eternally grateful they were all taking this so well. With the rest of his division presently incapacitated or otherwise distracted, he wasn't really up for a fight into the lights with a recently deceased. "Want to find out?"

- - -

The drive back to Groves End had been quiet. Tilly had taken over driving so Leo could nurse the still smarting twinges in his shoulders from the passenger seat while Reg sat behind him, his jacket still smoking from the blast. Anna, after all her giggling and bickering with Reg, had gone and worn herself out and dozed against Cedric's shoulder the whole way.

It was nearing midnight by the time they reached the house and Tilly insisted it was time for bed as she pulled into the narrow driveway next to Reg's truck at Number 42. For once, no one argued. Tilly and Reg helped Leo out of the passenger side while Cedric nudged Anna awake without any additional injuries.

"_I'll be home for Christmas/You can plan on me,"_

The record player, as was charmed, began to scratch out another quiet little carol as they entered. The house was dark, lit only by the fire in the hearth and the holiday lights in the ceramic village and on the tree. Someone, most likely Tilly had gone ahead and charmed the strands as well as ornaments onto tree while the younger reapers had been down at the skating rink and Cedric had to admit the Muggle lights were pretty against the shiny glass spheres and clay creatures.

"_Please have snow and mistltoe/And presents on the tree,"_

Bedding was summoned from the closet, pajamas were dawned, straws drawn for the couch and it wasn't long before the younger reapers were camped out Leo and Tilly's living room floor in the glow of the fire and the tree with a nostalgic sort of tune coming quietly from the record player. It was pleasant, inviting almost, he mused, studying the tree where the little white lights of the tree glittered in the spheres. Almost like a home, like a family _did_ actually live here.

"_Christmas Eve will find me/Where the lovelight gleams,"_

"Ced?" Anna asked quietly from the couch, once Reg was snoring beside him on the rug.

"Yes, Annie?" He asked, still watching the tree.

"I'm sorry you died, but I'm glad it was you who took Peter's place." She admitted. Cedric smiled to himself in the firelight.

"Happy Christmas Annie." He said, tugging in a brotherly sort of way on the pom-pom of her little red slipper where it dangled from under her quilt near his head.

"Happy Christmas Cedric." She replied, nudging his temple with her toe like a bratty little sister. He'd kind of missed being part of a family, even if they were a bit on the odd side.

"_I'll be home for Christmas/If only in my dreams,"_


End file.
